Thursday, June 8
Mulletwatch is back!
Danger! High Postage will be scouring the 32 World Cup teams for the best quality mullets. Let's start with a look at the mullet prospects of each of the 32 teams
Mullet watch rating: Moderate - Eastern European barbers have a soft spot for the mullet, therefore Poland seem the most likely country in this group to deliver some quality mullets, but don't discount Ecuador or Costa Rica for a classic hispanic-mullet. Although Germany is the spiritual home of the mullet, the German players seem to sadly eschew the style. Rudi Voller where are you when we need you?*
Mullet watch rating: Low - Sweden seem like the only country that could provide quality muletting opportunities, but I expect a lack of mullets all round. Not since the days of Chris Waddle have England had a quality mullet in their starting lineup. Gerry Francis could provide some mulleted punditry in the Sky studios. Beckham is 6/1 with William Hill to sport a mullet for the Paraguay game. The Paraguayans themselves are an unknown qualtity.
Mullet watch rating: High - Leading the mullet charge is Argentinian left back Juan Pablo Sorin who sports an amazing head of hair. There could be anything up to four mullets in Argentina's starting XI and hairspray must surely be at a premium in the Argentinian camp. Any country from Eastern Europe always has mullet potential and Serbia are no different. Dutch coiffures are difficult to predict and Didier Drogba and his Ivory Coast team mates could provide the elusive African mullet.
Mullet watch rating: Medium - Mexico are always a safe bet in the mullet stakes, with the addition of peroxide and blonde highlights highly probable (and flammable). Portugal are not to be ruled out, but Angolan mullets are unlikely. Having a mullet in Iran may well be an imprisonable offence, a practice that should perhaps be followed by governments of other nations.
Groups E-H to follow...
*In 1990 Rudi Voller was involved in the classic World Cup mullet moment when his hair became the target of Frank Rijkaard's phlegm in the fiery second round encounter between Germany and Holland.