Saturday, March 26

You're fired!
My favourite show on the TV at the moment by an absolute mile is The Apprentice. 14 supposed business high flyers compete for the chance to work for the one, the only, Sir Alan Sugar - who lays it on with a trowel for the cameras to leave them trembling with fear in the boardroom:

"Never, ever, ever underestimate me! I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullshitters, I don't like schmoozers. I don't like arse-lickers and I don't like Terry Venables!"

As the contestants are given a variety of demeaning tasks to weed them out one by one, each episode inevitably descends into an avalanche of bitching and powersuited posturing within the losing team.

Then they have to go to the boardroom (cue long lingering shot of Sugar's posh car with private numberplate) to face 'Sir Alan' who will give one of them the curly finger.