Monday, November 15
So myself and El Fincherino went to a wedding the other week in London and even though I didn't know anyone there - it was still a good party. The best man made the happy couple Keele University Top Trumps cards with ratings such as Squirrel Count, which I thought was cool.
Anyway we met this guy who told us this story of how he met Dale Winton and Cilla Black whilst on holiday in Spain. It was some trendy resort with loads of boats and he's walking down the street looking for his lost mate when who does he see, but Mr Camp Orange himself Dale Winton. 'Can I have a chip' said Dale suggestively....'well' said our anonymous storyteller 'I spilt vinegar on them in the chippy so they are a bit tangy'. 'Ooooohhhhhhh, I love a bit of vinegar on my chips if you know what I mean' says Dale archly.
Later that night in a club, who do they see but Cilla Black. They chat with her for a bit and she shockingly admits that blind date is fixed amongst other things.
Later still on the way home Dale and Cilla are walking back to her yacht arm in arm. 'It's the chip guy. Hellloooo chip guy' says Dale drunkenly but still camply. 'Thanks for letting me have a nibble on your battered sausage' and with that they stroll off slightly unsteadily into the night.
Is this a true story or the deluded ramblings of a madman? I guess we'll never know.