Sunday, January 4

Training for Olympic Gold

With the Olympics in Athens approaching this year, the British will no doubt again find it hard to pick up medals. However, here is my foolproof plan to win more medals in China in 2008.

1.Train heavily in minority sports that nobody else cares about. Come on guys, we did it at the Winter Olymipics with Curling, we can do it in the summer olympics too!

Beach Volleyball - I'd like to see a Beach Volleyball training Centre set up somewhere like Skegness, Bognor Regis or Red House Park in Great Barr - and four years of intensive training for the athletes in how to play volleyball without your sunglasses falling off and getting sand in your hair.

Softball - This is basically Rounders with a bigger bat - which is reluctantly played by most British school children anyway. Kids should be encouraged to play - by making Rounders look cool. Aswell as arsing about on a rugby pitch with Johnny Wilkinson, David Beckham should do a TV Advert promoting Softball and Rounders

Water Polo - This should be made the national game of Britain instead of Football. Also the British team should always make sure they get in the pool first so they get the shallow end.

2. The British Olymipic Comittee should realise that schools are not the breeding ground for future British Sports champions. That distinction actually falls to pubs.
Look at the evidence - British blokes are always champions at Snooker and Darts. Also from the look of their bellys, many of our triumphant "Rugby Heroes" have spent plenty of time in drinking establishments.
In pub beer gardens, we have the perfect facilities to train our sports stars of tomorrow.

Let's see beach volleyball courts set up in pub car parks.
Let's see Gymnastic Equipment instead of adventure playgrounds
And how about Greco-Roman Wrestling arenas instead of pool tables?