Wednesday, January 7
After a frankly bizarre 24 hours - that have verged from the sublime to the ridiculous to the tragic. The period has included a pantomime, a funeral, a bagpiper from New Zealand and Dave Benson Phillips!
Anyway - I think it's about time to reflect on the new year period, specifically i'm talking DARTS
There are not one, but TWO rival World Championships that have been going on over the past couple of weeks. Why? i'm not quite sure - but it does ensure that there has again been a double helping of "arrow action" for fans.
Phil 'The Power' Taylor (Stoke's finest export since Slash) has won what I think is the 'proper' world title for about the millionth time and now hung up his arrows, or perhaps put them in a jar or something......
Now over the past week or so I have seen articles about darts in several broadsheet newspapers aswell as those bastions of the Middle Class, The Express and Daily Mail.
Before we continue, let me just make clear that I did not buy the Daily Mail, I read it in a doctors surgery.
What i'm talking about here is a worrying trend towards what I would call The Gentrification of Darts
For me it's really annoying when posh journalists got to the darts and think its such a 'hoot' writing about it in a condescending and ever so slightly patronising way....
Darts has no place in the Daily Mail and I hereby start the 'Real Darts' campaign - to keep darts firmly in the grimy boozer rather than the trendy wine bar.
Here are some classic quotes from master commentator Sid Waddell - the king of the overstatement
"And these two players are sweating like a couple of stevedores in a sauna"
"Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet, and he's in a darts orbit"
"That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus"
"His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch."
"Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy."
"This game of darts is twisting like a rattlesnake with a hernia!"
"Rod now looking like Kevin Costner when told the final cost of Waterworld."
And the classic...
"When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Bristow's only 27."